Well isn’t Life so amazing…ly wonderful sometimes. At this point I’m appreciating not being compost.
Last night 2 yrs. ago (August 19, 2014) Roni, Mary Bassett, my sister, Joni Sandy and I were finally on the eve of the transplant scheduled to begin basically at dawn the next morning. I’m sure their imaginations, hopes, anxieties, preparations, prayers from the days, weeks, months and years leading up to this moment in time were pretty dialed up. Me? less so. After all I had had already many years of pretty significant anxiety, suffering, ups and downs, some near death events, parents dying, losing control of basically everything in my life on every level, had prepped many times by then for my ‘leaving’. 8 weeks prior I had an unanticipated open heart surgery and recall thinking that that was the toughest thing I could ever imagine getting through. There were more than a few times that I doubted I had the strength or remaining liver function to make it. My biggest dream then was seeing my daughter, Clare graduate from high school. As I said though, at that point I was as ready as I could be and wanted to get to the next morning. I can’t remember whether I slept that night tho.
But these three amazing women were that beginning wave of support around Roni and I. And we sat on one of the beds in that apartment overlooking Lake Michigan and prayed the most moving prayer of my life. Actually, Roni and I just let go and let Joni and Mary pray. They must have been channeling everyone else! From that moment on it seemed for me and I’m pretty sure Roni would agree, all the butterflys inside us were flying in formation.
As some might recall, we arrived at the hospital before dawn, were prepped, IV’d on our gurneys ready to go. Then there was a parade of nurses coming in saying everything was on hold because our transplant team hadn’t finished transplanting another person in the middle of the night because a liver became available. When that happens, they don’t have a lot of time. They just have to do it to save another life. The delay crept on for a long time and finally our team representative came in and said the transplant had been called off for the time being. They took all our IV’s out and released us with no timeline for when an opportunity would come again. Truthfully, they could not tell us anything; whether it would be a day or a couple of weeks. We went back to the apartment stunned. I have to admit that at that time, I began to get anxious because I knew and I knew that Roni knew that she only had a relatively small window of time when she was available to do the transplant and the unexpected heart surgery had closed most of her window already. So, we just sat around that whole day leaning in to the phone hoping we would get a call and some new frame of reference. It had to have been after 5PM when you begin to think that everyone at the hospital has gone home when the phone rang and they said to get ready again for the next morning. What a tremendous relief! but my sister, Joni had to leave because her window had closed. But her son, Nick called out of nowhere. Nick is a most remarkable young man about the same age as my step-son, Nick (late 20’s then). He was flying to another big event for one of his best friends in Michigan and rerouted to Chicago to make this surprise hour long visit of support for me. Roni, Mary and I were back on!
And here we all are two years later! By that I mean you (you all), me and Roni!! Roni is doing fabulous. I just have a feeling that one day she’ll tell her story and share it with the world too but in the mean time…isn’t Life so amazing!
You might send Roni a little lovin’…if you want.