In Memory of a special soul 11/1/16

This is a letter I wrote to John Martin, MD who’s dedication to his life’s work began saving my life since Feb/2011 through Nov/2014, and continues to care for others like me. No one can see the tears of gratefulness I’ve poured out because of him but their joy have been released into our world of suffering.

Dear John,

I know its been a while and I can only hope that this new email address is correct. If you have any new contact info you would like to send me, I would appreciate it. I hope you, Angela and Owen (an probably by now another child) are all well and thriving.

I couldn’t sleep a few nights ago which opened the door to get a cold, go through various crazy symptoms (as this particular body is wont to do) and come out okay again. But tonight I woke up again in the early morning hours to remember that Today, two years ago, I was on a plane coming back from Chicago following the Halloween day I wished I didn’t have with you doing your last and most amazing ERCP! I just read the report on it again. Wow! I am learning to read so much between the lines. In the same moment, I am so, so grateful for what you provided me and hope I never stop staying in that gratefulness. This little note is In Memory of You.

I can only assume that you are not in the loop about my progress anymore. It would be too much to follow all the people you have cared for but I thought I’d just reach out and shout out to you what’s up a bit. Maybe you read it, maybe not but Life is so much about just putting it out there without concern for results…kinda like love.

Quite a journey for both of us. On Nov 28, 2016, Byran Balmadrid takes out the year long stent procedure and I begin to live the great experiment without the props again. The stents have given me one whole year without significant ‘issues’ and I have enjoyed the vitality and learning what it’s like to not have my life go into the tank every few months. I have a certain growing amount of internal ‘freedom’ that informs me to be and give more unconditionally than ever. One of those manifestations is to go back into teaching. I’ve renewed my teaching certificate from 38 yrs ago and have found work substituting almost everyday in our local schools and so love to be with kids and educators again. I still see a few patients at the end of the days just in case God wants to make something more significant out of that someday. I don’t know where else this will lead me but it’s all very good. I am still committed to writing a memoir and have poured a fair amount of work into that very challenging endeavor.

We shared so much through our journeys with out kids. I’ll attach a pic of Clare and me just in case you may be interested. I made it to her high school graduation! Which was perhaps the driving force to make it through all I’ve been through. She is a sophomore in college and really thriving there. I couldn’t be more grateful. Yes, now I am setting more goals for our future that will keep me reaching but peace is already mine and all this is just…extra!

I wish for you the goodness, God can bless on us from time to time keeping us held as in the arms of a great parent watching a child grow. You are a very special soul and I continue to be blessed by your life.


This pic was taken a while back before the stent process was started (everyone says I look much better now) but it has very special meaning to me.

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